Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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