eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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