i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
