evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
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