then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
