this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
