You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
