bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
