I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
