is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Randomize