i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
not ubering you a puppy
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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