i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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