I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
