The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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