We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I think I sprained my soul last night
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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