"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I have already put on my inside pants.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
