Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
