You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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