It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize