I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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