so explain again why im purple
no
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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