is your mom at the bar?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Your topless pictures make me question reality
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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