absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
