he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
