My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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