I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
