Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize