Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
