Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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