ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
only if we run a train.
done.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
