How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
