I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
