People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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