It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
