That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
