Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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