ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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