I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
