yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
This toilet bowl is my home.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
