Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
She's just so happy...and so naked.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
