haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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