Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
