I want to stick my p in your. b.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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