There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
