I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
