the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
