And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
