Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
