Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
