so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
he shaved USA in his pubs
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
