I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
