I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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