the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
apparently the secret to your success is patron
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
