What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize