apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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