I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize