How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
