her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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