I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
