I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
