I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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