There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize