I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
