in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
